I would prefer to be self-obsessed. Don't get me wrong, few days back while giving a psychological test I found a question: "Are you interested in people?". That jolted me a little, seriously I AM interested in people, BUT I am certainly not interested in what he eats, what he wears or how he looks. Being interested is not interfering the life, rather seeing it from distance and not being judgmental. We seriously need to draw a line between being interferer and being interested in person. We seriously DO!
There is a red thin line between being self confident and being self-boasting-imbecile. I hope people could understand where is the line and mind to cross it. Being confident has nothing to do with being boastful as we all take it for granted. Everyone had gone through some of the pain, and when you are describing about your struggle, be assured no one cares YOUR struggling part. They will hear it, discard your heroic descriptions and pull the main idea of survival. Strangely enough we all had been through it - you gotta believe me!
From a long distance things seem so simple, so smooth, so easy..while you get into it you know how complex, how rough, how hard it is for you! We only hear success stories..either we overlook the failures or don't want to hear the struggling part. Do we have the myopia syndrome? the syndrome to appreciate only success passing behind all the hard works, struggles and sometimes failures one went through? Anyway my motto from the comment is: You can't get free lunch without working for it..one of the reasons behind it probably you can't take things for granted...you can't afford 'a fly in the ointment' in your life!
It is very unlikely me, I mean delving into some matters. I am almost like, being happy for whatever I am getting without giving it much thought. But while saw again the famous quote "Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans" and credited to John Lennon I felt an urge to see the authenticity. Internet is a great place but it's also a place where you will be given wrong directions and wrong information. I don't know but if it were said by someone else I would not be bothered may be, but Beatles had never been my cup of tea and so are the band mates. Well I came up with interesting fact that it was not the first time that this has been come out from John Lennon. Rather Adam Saunders wrote the line many years ago, Lennon used it in a song. Sigh of relief, hehe I know you guys must be mad by now, but hey while you are putting and associating with a particular quote please give the real one! At least show the creator a credit, now a days we are very interested in giving right credits, aren't we? Have a great day!
References: 1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allen_Saunders
I am kind of forgetful, most of the important dates which I should remember and wish, I forget. But still there are some dates which I can't, the story or the love behind this doesn't allow me to forget. My favorite singer's date of demise is one of them. Two years back he left this world leaving behind all his creations and remorse audience. He was used to be called King of Ghazal. I have already gave a little introduction about it in my previous post. I had very few milestones to cover, and most of them are not very over the top kind, but attending Jagjit Singh's live concerts was on the top of the list and I now know this milestone would never be crossed. A little bit of disappointment we all have, our share of disappointments make us the person we are. But some of them are too much to bear or forget or to just pass on. Some of the regrets or bereavements born to give you the prickly feeling of disownment - disownment of not having something even if you try your level best.
Why we always feel that we just had not done justice to the people around us? And strangely enough this feeling would not come to you when you are with these people. All the regrets come only when you are away from them. You were completely oblivion of the fact that you were doing wrong or not doing enough. And they come back once you are alone - when you are unable to repay it. The feeling is never pleasant. To me you actually don't think about the sins or good deeds you have done so far for your next life when you think about death or you are in a death bed. You die with regrets that how many people you hurt with your behavior or deeds, how many lives could be improved only if you had paid a little attention. This feeling is unbearable and may be one of the obvious we would be dying with. We will never be satisfied nor we will die peacefully. But when we are alive or closer with our relations we take it for granted. We believe what we are doing is good for us- which eventually is not. Our life, whatever success we achieve as a person, is a failure in the death bed. Inevitable!
We seldom do what we think. Yes I know you are not believing me but just think of the number of occassions you wanted to say something harsh to your teacher, your boss, your friends for their ill behavior. How many times you could say what your mind wanted to say? I am sure it's less than 10%. Accept it, we all do. It's kind of our escape route from anxiety and frustration. We talk big, do small. And that affects our overall stature about us in our own eyes. We drag ourselves down a bit each time we fail to say the truth on the face. Very good reason of doing that is, we don't want to be enlisted as enemy to so many people and other reason is we don't have the courage to say the truth. I am not saying we should practice telling the truth-on-face nor am I encouraging you to do. It is just another bit of heart-out desire which I don't think would ever be fulfilled.
It came suddenly, stirred my mind and went away. I am talking about the effect of social networking in our lives. I know this has been talked about probably million times. But again, they were not being told by me. I have my own version to say and here I am.
Amazingly enough social networks, particularly Facebook made things different than we were used to see it. It is kind of home address now. If you don't have one, you are homeless. What is not going there? Meets up, conferences, official chats, personal bonding - you name it. Many would argue that we have stretched it too far and made it like see-me-how-cool-I-am platform but yet I would like to see it in my own angle. It's an opportunity for a friend to know the side of his friend, which probably was unknown to him in those years. And I found people are open to talk about themselves in social networks. May be it is easier to talk to a computer than to a live person. But I found many different sides and shades of persons I used to know. I feel it would never be possible if there was not any Facebook. The people whom you would never had time for a phone call, you atleast would be able to know what he is doing by only reading her status. Which is cool. People get a little caught up and brag a little about every tiny things but hey this is how things are shaping up these days. What I am trying to say is: things are get moving faster than pre facebook age. Things are changing, people are changing and to me change is good.
It seems like I've taken a break, a little longer than usual. While reading one book of Azar Nafisi's Things I've Been Silent About one thing struck my chord. She asked, if we know the people that are elderly than us, would eventually go away from the world before us, why we don't try to understand them more, why don't we take more time to know them?
Why? Why the people we love, be neglected by us most? If only we could be a little patient, had not the things be altered? Had we not become better son or daughter if we could be a less engrossed with only ourselves rather than our dad or mom? It had always been a subject for discussion that we don't value the people we get in our life when they are with us. Only when they are gone we lament and feel how important they were for us.
I think it is our one of the many excuses to avoid confrontation with our own. We know it from very beginning that this day would come, yet we take it for granted. Having said all, I mean, we think only about us. We act or lie to us about missing the particular loved ones. I sound ruthless, but to me it's true. Our own life is most precious to us, we remember the person only when we are supposed to get something from her, celebrate our Mother's and Father's day for showing but seldom do care. We are narcissist and hypocrites - Period.
Bengali New Year (Bengali: নববর্ষ Nôbobôrsho/পহেলা বৈশাখ Pôhela Boishakh) is all about color. In Gregorian Calendar the date is 14th of April. If you get too lucky that you are happen to be in Bangladesh this time of year, you will see it adorns itself with color of summer. To celebrate this occasion people start preparation from quite early. The official color is red, yellow and white and everyone comes with traditional attire paring these colors. The day starts with witnessing sunrise [yes, not just after it's 12 AM] under the big trees while listening to the first song of welcoming the first month.
Then they go out for a long procession seeking well being of all (Bengali: Mongol Sobhajatra). In this meanwhile open air musical program takes place all around of this small country with unbound zeal. People like to gather with friends and family. Wear traditional dresses with distinctive color symbolizes the month. To Bengalis, the new year means new anticipation. They connect it with delight, color and sharing warmth. Though traditionally it was the start of businesses and opening a new ledger. But now the definition has been changed and became a celebration of people from all walk of life irrespective of religion or ideology.
I understand you may get confused where am I here so that it made my life awesome?! Yes it is there, it somehow connected my life and being. The things I have told before are somehow my story too, you just need to replace the word People with I/me. We are almost in the start of the month April and I am sure back in Bangladesh, it already started preparing itself for the biggest congregation of Bengali all around the world.
Oh you are right! You have to give the test of being successful all of your life - there is no way out. After when you just graduated or entered to your work place you might have thought: "so here I am. I have proved what I am capable of". Sorry but it's just your beginning by the way! You are in a more intense race of proving yourself and what you are capable of. You must have heard success is a journey not a destination. Irony is you would always get the first hand experience of this in every sphere of your life. The more successful you are, the higher the hurdles are.
I may sound a little controversial, but I would not mind sound one in this case. A person has to prove all in her life that, what she had achieved was not a mere fluke. Suppose someone got an Oscar for her role, now this actually would not make her successful. This would buy some more good projects and production names merely. But after that if you don't see her in any commendable role for last 10 years I am sure you would think she was an one-film-wonder. In a context of the film she would get the due credit but for others she would be a 'talent being wasted'. To die successful is a blessing very few taste.
On the contrary there is another observation I have. People do not bother how unsuccessful you were as long as you are successful NOW. The same people who once jeered at you for being a mediocre will forget everything about your past and praise you for being super talented now. Again if you can not prove competent you would be labelled with the same tag in future.
In spite of all the hardship and never-ending thrive, we love success. We love to taste the fine smooth texture of the gorgeous yet cruel part of the universe. We make ourselves compliant for it from the first day till the last. Success makes us more active, optimistic, gentle, loving and hungry for more success. I saw someone asked somewhere why successful people are successful in everything. It's interesting. The reason is simple because they are well aware of their capabilities and they know that there is no short cut to it. So, they put more energy, more time, more passion and eventually come out successful again. They relish the fame and bask in glory and then again start off for the journey. Reader, are you in for the trip?
I don't know whether it happens to everyone or not but when a student gets into her Undergraduation, to me, she eyes to this auspicious day of completing her graduation - the commencement day. Fulfilling the dream she dreamed for many years, the experience she gathered in these years being a Sophomore and Senior, all come to an end. Life starts to shape in a different pattern, with a bigger picture. Study debt ofcourse one of the parts of this process, which certainly is worth it.
For me the graduation day was not only the parade with black gown but a day to call off the connection with my second home, the place produced thousand pictures of joy, sorrow, ecstasies. It does not happen instantly, rather you wait for the day to come. The night you go early to bed making sure all your preparations are in place. You double check every details - even the color of your tie. You wake up in a festive mood. Take a shower, pull on your suit, tie your tie, apply gel on your hair and start putting the over sized gown that never comforted you. But today it's different; even the scary looking gown seems gorgeous to you. You start walking the corridor with your chin up. Family usually come by this time, get in to their seats waiting for their loved ones being graduated. The moment you move your mortarboard tassel, you know that is it. Then you go for endless photo shoot with your friends, the surrounding which just while ago was silent like grave now buzzing with laughter. Your mother insists for a magic snap to put it on her wall. Ok after all, you got it right, all your effort paid off, Now? You go back to your room and then suddenly situation changes. You start feeling bad for every inch of the place once you hated like hell. Your mind rewinds all the past memories. You feel now there is a big cruel world waiting for you, you don't know what it would turn out to be. You shake hands with room mates and pick the taxi full of your belongings to a new destination, to an uncertain journey. Your dream day does not turn out that dreamy anymore. My situation was almost same but I managed to stay couple of more days to linger the heat. It was like leaving your family going to a war where you would never win.
A little heads up
The Blogorama is collection of my daily blog. Whereas category "Things made my life awesome" talks about my past wonderful experiences in an ascending order, "Now in my mind" says the issues I like my opinion on. "Life, in making" is recently started daily log (not so daily!), "Meditation" is something I come back so often, thought that would interest YOU too. Well, that sums it up (almost).
A constant dreamer, believe this is not the end of the world and try to make changes in my own life constantly. Life sometimes went hard and strict-my life's choices would determine whether I have taken them as lessons or punishment.
If you think someone else is the problem and is not letting you do certain things, that implies you perceive yourself a victim. Being victim is letting the person win. If you really want to make a statement: Ignore him.
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